Imagine waiting for the coast guard or whatever to show up and instead a replica of 18th century merchant ship pulls up and tows you to the coast.
Image description: a screenshot that reads the following;
“Nobody:
Girls that bullied goth kids in high school:”
Attached images are of Taylor Swift, a white woman with sunglasses, blonde hair, a black tank top reading “this is my fight song”, and green shorts. She is wearing a leather bondage harness. It is backwards.
my favorite genre of humor is alt text being just completely factual and somehow reading the image for filth
Anonymous asked:
...what is the "sex is just rock climbing" category
runawaymarbles answered:
It was kind of a joke between me and a friend (“you wouldn’t judge someone for having gone rock climbing with a bunch of different people”) but honestly the more I thought about it the more I bought into it unironically because:
- It is a physical activity done with one or more partners
- You should only go rock climbing with people you trust not to let you fall
- You should not go rock climbing with someone who is drunk or currently incapable of rational decision-making
- Some people get super super super into rock climbing and do not shut up about all the places they have climbed and how many are left on their bucket list
and these people are usually men between the ages of 20 and 35and like it’s fine dude I’m glad you’re happy but I don’t know what most of those mountains even are - While many consider it a fun activity, pressuring someone into climbing when they don’t want to (or ignoring their feelings and just dangling them off a cliff,) could cause both psychological and physical trauma
- There is no moral value to it whatsoever. Who you have gone rock climbing with (or whether you have rock climbed at all) has no bearing on who you are as a person. Imagine telling someone “it’s not that heights make you nauseous, it’s just that you haven’t found the right person to belay you!” or “you need to save your first time rock climbing for someone special.” That would be absurd.
- historically I have not asked myself “will this aggravate my hip flexer injury” before participating when perhaps I should have 😔
i love that stupid double fisted overhead punch they always do on star trek
fuck your life
best part of it is that the person doing it almost always is the one who wins the fight
how could you not include this part
take this! heres ASS
it's been a tough week! please take a fruit, and pass some on :)
grapes 🍇
kiwi 🥝
watermelon 🍉
blueberries 🫐
orange 🍊
strawberry 🍓
pineapple 🍍
cherries 🍒
mango 🥭
apple 🍏
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ten inch dick aka longer than my forearm
i know there are some writers who follow me
please
take note
I believe the average is 6 inches? The longest is 14, an he suffers dizziness when he gets a boner, and even though he’s heterosexual, he can only have sex with men (or anally with women) as his cock can’t fit in a vagina.
So writers, take note.
jesus h. christ
I once had a boyfriend who was quite well-endowed, and that was some painful, annoying shit right there (especially with a selfish dude who didn’t really think about that/blamed me for being “tiny,” what the fuck). The average vagina is 3-4 inches deep, though some women may have a depth of 6-7 inches.
Of course, a lady’s Sarlaac Pit is designed to accomodate rather large things. That does not, however, mean that it is comfortable or fun to have those large things in your hermetically-sealed shame basket, not to mention have it ramming repeatedly against your cervix. Ow fucking ow.
Contrary to popular belief, bigger is NOT ALWAYS BETTER.
A rectum can be between 5-7 inches deep. A pliable dildo could push past that, taking that sharp curve into the large intestine, if you’re patient and flexible and you have a lot of lube at your disposal. And you don’t mind things being in your INTESTINES, oh my God. A hard dick, however, that isn’t so bendy, would be another story entirely.
So if you’re shooting for realistic sex and your bottom isn’t into pain, you may want to reconsider giving your top anything over 7-8 inches of dick. 10+ inches might sound awesome but like Communism, for most people at least, it’s better in theory than it is in practice.
This very NSFW and TMI-imbued post brought to you by all the fucks I do not give.
Oh and if anyone accuses me of kink shaming I will find you and I will skin you.
ive learned a lot today omg
i think the last of my innocence just got killed reading this
I reblogged this yesterday but I just have to reblogg again for ^
Just a heads up that 6 inches isn’t the average, 6 inches is considered a big dick
The average penis size is between 3 to 5 inches when flaccid and 4 to 6 inches when hard
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_penis_size
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Testicle#Size
Here’s approximately what the *exactly average* (according to wikipedia) 5.17″ length by 4.59″ circumference erect adult human penis looks like.
(the scrotum size was a bit harder to get a read on but I tried my best with the 2″x.8″x1.2″ balls)
Desktop Hard Drive for scale.
This will always amuse me.
Pipe expanding machine
Wowww
She expanding my pipe till i turn off replies
me when my werewolf boyfriend
posting this on twitter will get you put into witness protection
The magic of childhood is that you were constantly encountering new things. The best way to feel that way again is to fill your life with new experiences.
Two bite brownies?? Don’t tell me how many bites to take per brownie, Trader Joe’s, okay for me, they’re zero bite brownies. I suck those things down like a BURMESE PYTHON
